Wizard who got tired of fighting and casts fucked up unethical spells like “super brain hemorrhage” to end them faster
One time I did “Summon Water” inside a guys lungs and the GM allowed it because he had been playing for years and never seen anyone do that
Me “I can raise the temperature of a space by 5 degrees (Fahrenheit) per success” DM “Okay.” Me “And that’s 6 successes, so 30 degrees…” DM “Okay…” Me “And ‘inside the human body’ is a space, right?” DM “…I don’t like where this is going.” Me “So I’m going to raise the temperature inside his body 30 degrees.” DM “Yeah, so he’s dead now. He was fine, and then went through all the stages of heat stroke in half a second before his body went ‘No thank you’ and just shut off to stop it from being so hot. Good job.”
This is my grandfather’s rock. It is Probably a Garnet, which he mined out himself when he was in college studying to be a geologist.
Though you may assume this is a Small Rock, it is in fact a very Large Rock, and also a very Heavy Rock, but most especially a very Square Rock, which is what makes it particularly cool.
Here we have a rock which used to be a tree. This rock is petrified wood! It was one of my very first Cool Rocks!
Speaking of rocks that used to be things that were not rocks, this rock is Petoskey stone! This rock used to be a coral. Let’s get a good look at those patterns.
Now that’s a Cool Rock!
Amethyst? It’s an Okay Rock. If you are looking for an inexpensive rock to start your collection, amethyst is the way to go. It’s a quartz with a deep purple color. A very nice, if average, rock.
Now citrine… Citrine is a Cool Rock! It’s a smoky quartz with a lovely honey color. The druzy on my chunk of citrine has a wonderful sparkle.
This is my Amazonite! It grew that hexagon shape all by itself!! This specimen is from Colorado.
Look at this shiny little slice of rock! This rock is Tiger Iron, and those bands of red and orange glow beautifully with some light behind them. These different colored bands are made from Hematite (the dark silver), Jasper (the red-orange), and Tiger-Eye quartz (the yellow-orange).
Here’s a rock you’ve probably seen before! This Cool Rock is Malachite. The patterns and rings are from the stalagmites this little egg was carved from.
Whoa, look at this giant slab of Extremely Cool Rock!!! These crystals formed in the cracks of fossilized mud, to make the awesome patterns in this geode of Septarian! This is my second best rock.
This is my Best and most Favorite Cool Rock. In this dark room it’s a dull little grey rock, but if I move it closer to the light…
Those glints of gold! Those veins of blue! This rock is most certainly Labradorite, which changes color spectacularly when the light hits it just right. Let’s put it in direct sunlight.
Yes!! YES!! There it is!! The Best and Coolest Rock!!!!!
